No truer a statement would reveal itself as reality.

From my three months experience with living in one of these little tin sardine cans, I can safely say that they are not for anyone who’s afraid to have greasy fingernails, busted up hands and a thinned out pocketbook. Some truths:

Breakdowns

This is simply something that will be on your plate at all times. Our bus has a rebuilt engine and runs pretty well, when it’s running. But there have been many a morning when I’ve had to get into the engine and tinker, I’ve lost as much blood busting my hand open trying to reach into that small motor compartment as the bus leaks oil, and our local VeeW Unlimited repair folks find the old girl parked in their lot when they arrive in the morning enough to know her by name. The good news on this front is that there are plenty of parts still around for these old girls, in my experience, and if you’ve got even a sliver of engine inginuity in you (I had absolutely none when I first bought her), you’ll be able to do alot of the work yourself. Just find yourself a copy of the How to Keep Your Volkwagen Alive book and read, read, read yourself to sleep.

Cooking, Cleaning and Food Storage

If you like to cook lavish meals with loads of ingredients and all chopped up veggies, tasty sauces, and elegant layouts, forget it. There’s about as much counterspace as an escape pod sent from Krypton and given that you’ll likely have two burners maximum on what is essentially a camping stove, grilled cheese sandwiches and hot soup are about as fancy as it gets. We’ve learned to eat raw: fruit and veggies, some good bread and cheese can make for excellent meals and an incredibly healthy lifestyle. Oh, and don’t forget the chocolate. Lots of chocolate. And beer. And wine. And coffee. Coffee with Jameson in it. And just Jameson. Cigarettes help, too.

There’s also not a whole load of storage, so you’ll probably need to decide between having boxes of pasta around or underwear.

And the clean up is a pain. When I’m riding alone, I can keep her somewhat spic and slightly span, but add the boy or the lady, or both, and you’ve got a recipe for muddy floors, cluttered cabin space and all around messy. I like to live in the mess that my loved ones make though, and don’t mind a quick sorting every couple of days.

Exploration

How about some good news, you ask? Well I’ve got plenty of it. As far as mobile living goes, you can’t really beat a bus. Not even a Class B RV can fit as easily into a parallel parking spot as the bus, and so we are basically unlimited as to where we can go. If you can get there by car, you can get there by bus.

Gas Mileage

My house gets 26mpg. The end.

Social Butterflighting

Open the side door, sit there with a hippy girl or a cute little blue eyed 8 year old and you’ll have every interesting person in a quarter mile squared radius coming up to you. “Ah man, I always wanted to do that.” “Reminds me of my younger days!” “What?! You live in that?” Good times.

The Lifestyle

Living in a bus is not like living in a home. It is best suited, in my opinion, for those who prefer to be outside rather than in. In fact, you really can’t live in the bus if you’re going to be a tribe (as opposed to a loner type). You’ll want to get out around the fire, wander the beaches, hike up a trail or relax in a coffee shop.

Simply “the Feeling”

When another bus owner drives by, you both wave. Every.single.time. Hasn’t failed yet and that’s a great feeling. The way people look at you, teenage kids motioning for you to honk the horn, old hippy types smiling as you go by, it just makes you happy to be living this sort of life. It’s something I’ve wanted to do for a decade now and whether it lasts another week or another much, much longer period, I am incredibly thankful for the experience.

And that’s what it’s all about, experiencing what you want to grab ahold of in life.

Any other questions? Feel free to ask in the comments ’cause this is certainly a conversation I love having.

Though apparently the entire thing has been scrapped, I dig on the look of this almost-a-reality Volkswagen Bus. Some articles I’ve read lead me to believe that a 2009 model like this was slated for last year, but as it’s November and I haven’t actually ever seen one, I’m guessing that the RIP label is still appropriate when it comes to new buses.

My problem with Geico lies in the insanity that goes on with their customer representatives. In an experience we had in the RV last year, we were told our RV would be fixed after it caught on fire, told we would be reimbursed for up to $1000 in expenses we incurred when we couldn’t live in it (because the claims adjuster took a week getting to us, and the RV was our house). This morning, I’m sitting in the bus with a dead battery and gave Geico a call. They wouldn’t send someone out until they could call the garage where my bus was towed to last week and verify that I’d had the repairs made. Fair enough, I understand completely: they don’t want to be towing people around who aren’t even putting the cash into their vehicles to keep from having to call Geico again. Unfortunately, it was 7:30 in the morning and the garage wasn’t open. So the representative I spoke with mentioned that she could hook me up with the towing company that Geico uses in the area, I could pay to have my bus towed, and then Geico would reimburse me for the full cost. I was very particular about those details because I had been told before that if you do it this way, that damn gecko will only cut you a check for $50 / max. That only covers the hookup fee at most places. The representative I spoke with specifically gave me a FAX number and everything, telling me I could FAX the invoice back in when I got it and they’d verified everything.

So I called back a few hours later, after having the old girl towed to my local VW mechanic, and talked to another representative. This person proceeded to give me the information I needed to get the long, arduous reimbursement process started. First thing she tells me, they don’t accept FAXes. I asked her why the other woman would have told me that Geico does accept invoices by FAX, she said she didn’t know. I asked her why their was an arcane policy of mailing invoices in when we have FAX and email and every other split second way of communicating. She had no answer that wasn’t bullshit, and so I informed her that the true reason was this: Geico only accepts original invoices. So if you send an original through the mail, there’s a chance it’ll get lost in the postal system or that they can just rip it up if they’d like. Good fat luck with that Geico, I’ll be getting tracking on my invoices, I’ll be watching your lizardy asses so carefully, you won’t finangle me like you tried to and failed last time.

I am incredibly happy with Geico 46% of the time. But anytime I have to speak to a representative and then to another one, and they are feeding me completely different shpeels, my blood begins to boil and I realize quite well that I’ll be reviewing my options come policy renewal time. I haven’t been in an accident in all of my life, never reported a claim. The only thing I’ve ever used car insurance for is towing. Bastards.

Supplies

• 4″ High Density Foam, for the cushions.
• Several yards of fabric, including some extra so that I can eventually cover the top bunk (aka, Tristan’s room) which wasn’t in nearly as bad shape but could still use a little sprucing up one day.
• Scissors, thread, a thimble, all of the gear of which Olivia once would have so lovingly taken care.

A day and a half, and a pretty major blood blister on my thumb, later and we were in business!

• She was born in the 70’s, 1978 to be exact and is one of a limited number of buses that was kitted out with a brown dash rather than black (part of the Champagne Edition, hence her name). Though this is largely word of mouth and I haven’t found a whole lot of other info on the matter.
• Riviera converted her, which means we have a fiery little Coleman stove, Coleman heater, a Norcold minifridge which has definitely seen better days, (but she keeps it cold!), and a small sink with both an electric and hand pump. The top pops to reveal Tristan’s bedroom, and the seat in the back lays down into a bed (which I’ve already done a little work with, reupholstering).
• The previous owner bought her for his kids to take up into the Rockies over the summer. They’re 18 and older, and as young folk tend to do, they made other plans for their summers. Thusly, she was put up for sale and we traveled all the way from Western Texas to pick her up in Fort Collins, CO.

I intend to do quite a bit of work to her beyond the small amount we’ve already done, though just keeping her cleaned out takes a good chunk of my days away. Stay tuned!